Monday, November 2, 2009

April 8, 2005

Dear Newly Interested Parent:

I commend you for deciding to be interested in your child's education. Parental involvement has been shown in study after study to have a positive effect on grades, behavior, and attitudes about education. It is frustrating for teachers when a child is doing poorly academically or behaving obnoxiously and the parents are no-shows at meetings and refuse to answer their phones when we call. You, newly interested parent, are not like that. You call me three times a day and send me scathing notes daily through your child who shuffles, embarrassed and red-faced, into my classroom to deliver them.

I love that you are now interested. I do, however, take exception with the fact that you used to be one of those other parents who was uninvolved and avoided contact with me. Where were you in January when I called begging you to call me back because your student called me a bitch? Why did you never sign or return any of the progress reports I sent home informing you that your child was failing English? I have a parental contact log with your name on a mile long. You didn't care.

Now it is April. There are only a matter of weeks left before this school year ends and your little angel either goes to high school or is retained here at middle school. Suddenly you are the most devoted and interested parent in the world. Suddenly you are frustrated by my lack of communication with you. You are offended by my attitude. "What do you mean he has to stay after school to do extra work?" You demand to know. "I don't have time for that!" You complain.

Well, your child has gotten 60% or lower every grading period. The only reason they even have a prayer to pass is because my administration requires that I give a "last ditch effort". Meaning that if your child completes a ridiculously small packet of work, I am required to go back and change those grades to passing. I guess we are teaching them that they can do nothing and at the very end do very little and life will work out for them.

Again, thank you for becoming involved. I wish you had been this involved in September, but I guess I'll take what I can get. But please stop calling me so much. Please change your tone from angry to sheepish. You really should be a little ashamed of yourself.

Sincerely,

First Year Teacher
¶ 9:30 AM
Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Want to know what fun is? Trying to teach poetry in North Carolina to a class of middle-school, sport-obsessed boys the day after North Carolina won the national championship!

I try to give examples of things I am talking about, so many of my poetry examples centered around NCAA themes. My example haiku (though I realize it was not about nature) was:

Carolina won.
We are glad about that, yes?
Illinois is not.

Tomorrow, hopefully this craze will have passed a little. I wore a Carolina shirt today in solidarity, but Carolina Blue isn't my best color.
¶ 8:30 PM
Monday, April 04, 2005

I was really anxious about coming back to work. I'm not sure why. But the night before last I even had nightmares about it. I dreamed that it was the first day of school and I woke up three hours late. Then I got to school and realized that I wasn't wearing any shoes. Then I noticed that I was wearing shoes but the shoes were really ugly. Then I was in my classroom and there was trash everywhere, the kids were running around, and I was shouting, "Just create graphic organizers! You know how! Create them!"

It was awful. Then, last night, I couldn't sleep. I just felt unprepared and anxious. I woke up nervous. Then I got to school this morning and couldn't figure out why I felt that way. Everything is fine. I know what I am doing. It's weird.

We are starting the poetry unit. Today is all about boring terms and "get in touch with yourself" exercises. But I love it when it starts to get going.
¶ 10:58 AM
Saturday, April 02, 2005

I swear that I will post again someday. Spring break has sucked my brain out. Monday, back to work.
¶ 12:43 PM
Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Things I have done on day 4 of my spring break:

1. Hung out with one of my bestest oldest friends
2. Ate goat cheese and sun-dried tomato breadsticks
3. Went to the beach
4. Did well-choreographed karaoke
5. Re-potted my houseplant named Jeremiah's Brother
6. Hung out watching movies with a fat, squishy cat named James
7. Slathered hydrocortisone cream on my eyes because, yes, they swelled up from mysterious mango compounds from something

Notice that planning a unit or lessons were not included on that list? Don't care, don't care, don't care! I guess I will have to do some planning soon. But it is blissfully only Tuesday and I have until next Monday! Hooray!
¶ 10:59 PM
Thursday, March 24, 2005

So this has become an America's Top Model / Teaching blog...so what? Ahem. Love me in all my diversity or don't love me at all.

Some thoughts on last night's episode...

I really like Naima. She seems cool. I wish they would give her new hair-- I feel bored with the mohawk action. I liked that she tried to moderate the argument between Brandy and Tatiana but wasn't all weird and gross about it. She seemed mature...plus she is pretty hot.

When will this farce with Michelle end? She is not a model. She seems interesting and stuff-- especially since next week she will apparently start to be consumed by flesh-eating bacteria (was anyone else absolutely horrified by that clip of her showing Tyra her bacteria consumed lip?!?!)-- but she just isn't very pretty at all. She also isn't "fierce". And we can't tolerate lack of fierce.

Kahlen, Keenyah, Noelle, and Christina are still a little boring. I'm not sure what they are about, exactly. And the numbers on the show are still so high that is hard to keep track.

Lluvy is interesting, but I think she is going down very soon. Not very photogenic. (But what was up with Tyra's rabid insistance that Lluvy's picture was the "worst in America's Next Top Model history"?? It wasn't that bad. I have been watching a long time now and I have seen worse.)

I think that Rebecca is the prettiest...I can't tell if she is mean or not...I think she seems a little annoying at times, but I haven't made a final judgement.

I was glad to see Brandy go. I am hoping that with her gone Tiffany will become less annoying. I think that Tiffany was going down with Brandy, so hopefully without her, Tiffany will get back to wanting to be positive and stuff. (Did you see how all of the other girls wanted so badly for Tiffany to become violent with the Tennis Guy? Wasn't that mean of them? Wishing her to lose control? Awful girls).

I cannot wait for next weeks flesh-eating bacteria episode. The look of horror on Tyra's face when she sees it is wonderful. Poor Michelle.

In teaching news, tomorrow begins spring break. I have just been fired from my corporate bookstore job (for too many absences due to sickness caused by my students) so I will have a lot of time to reflect...and by reflect I mean lay on the couch and watch the Food Network and hour after hour of The Real World. Being fired helps me be thankful for my real job. Its not perfect, but at least it isn't corporate.

An aside-- has anyone else been watching The Starlet? It is like America's Next Top Model on a low budget and crack. There is a lot of howling that takes place. I watch in horror, but I can't look away. It comes on tonight on WB.
¶ 7:29 AM
Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The insane thing about some workshops on how to teach is how badly taught they are.

I mean, really. Can you not feel foolish saying to a group of teachers, "No one can sit still and listen to lectures for hours at a time. People must get up and move and be engaged on several levels to learn" who have been sitting still listening to lectures for hours at a time?

I went to a workshop today and I didn't get out of my seat (with permission) except for two times. It was an eight-hour workshop. The workshop was on how to use lots of different techniques to teach different learners. And all they did was lecture. I don't believe that my personal learning style was taken into consideration at all. I would have killed to get up and stick stickers next to my predictions for the day. It would have been nice to hold an index card with a definition on it and then have to search for the person holding the word. Imagine the freedom in writing ideas down on sentence strips and having to arrange them in order.

These were the ideas they taught. I just wish they had taught the way they were teaching us to teach. Instead of listening to them drone on and on I passed mean notes about someone I don't like to my co-worker. I also wrote haikus in my notebook. I also whispered when I was supposed to be quiet. See what happens?
¶ 5:33 PM
Friday, March 18, 2005

I regret that I did miss ATM! I have heard about it and am hoping to watch the make-up episode tonight on UPN. Since it is their only good show, they replay it over and over, which is to my benefit.

Today, a team teacher and I introduced our EOG BootCamp. The EOG here in North Carolina is the state test that our kids all have to pass. We have decided that once a week we will dress completely in fatigues and lead kids around chanting army style rhymes about EOGs. We dressed in the fatigues today to peak their interest and it sure is working! The kids are going crazy asking what we are doing and why we look like this.

Soon I will start drilling them in class, army style. I am going to say things like, "Stop and give me twenty!"-- meaning twenty EOG vocabulary words or whatever. I think it is going to be a lot of fun. Hopefully it will give them the drive to really care about this stupid test so that they can be successful.
I am also planning on creating "knowledge granades" in some fashion that will "explode" on certain groups that they have to answer. Any ideas in this vein are welcome.

I am always happy to make a fool of myself in order to get them to pay attention.
¶ 12:18 PM
Thursday, March 17, 2005

I feel reborn!

The coughing has mostly ceased! I slept through the night and I don't feel like I am going to cry every minute today! Yea for me!

I also had a great time at the Indigo Girls concert last night. Seeing them is always like some crazy family sing-a-long. The audience sings at least as much-- if not more-- than they do. Some people hate this, I know, but I really love it. It makes me feel a part of something cozy and nice. Instant community, which is nice out here.

The only downside was this couple next to me. They were inflamed with such homely passion that I thought they might tear each other limb from limb. If either of them was hot it would have been tolerable, but that was definately not the case. The situation was worsed every minute by the constant consumption of Budweiser. As they began to get more and more drunk, their passionate gropings became less and less accurate. I became the victim of several mislanded gropings from both the man and the woman. They reeled around and around as the music played, mouths open and searching, limbs flying about, hands grabbing. They really were monsterous. Tragically, I was mesmerized by them and couldn't look away much of the time. I just kept turning to my friend, hoping to have witnesses to my pain. But other than that, it was wonderful.

Also, it is snowing right now! It is beautiful! The only downside to that is that I am sitting in my classroom right now, thirty minutes from where I live. I worry that getting home may be a problem. But I am just trying to be positive and hope for an early release.

All in all, I feel so much better than I have for weeks that I nothing can bring me too down. There is nothing like a debilitating sickness to remind of all the good in the world.
¶ 8:33 AM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005

I am not teaching today.

Sure, I'm present in the room. I have written the focus question on the board. But I am too tired to actually teach anyone anything. I tried first period, but now it is third and I just don't have it in me.

I have them all in groups and they are supposed to be reading to one another. Some of them are. Some of them are arguing. Some of them are reporting sports scores to one another. One is making markings on his arm that look suspiciously gang-like. I just am too tired to stop it or redirect them.

I know this isn't ideal. I know I should buck up and teach something. I understand that I am wasting precious instructional time. I just can't seem to get it together.

I am even so tired that I don't feel like going to the concert tonight. I will go because I know I would regret not going. But this sickness has plumb worn me out.

Someone just threw something. I have to go.
¶ 1:31 PM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005

I certainly don't mean to jinx anything, but I think the worst may be over with this sickness. I only woke up a couple of times coughing last night and this morning I have hardly coughed at all. I am left with a very sore throat and it feels really fragile, like with one quick move I could be thrown into fits of coughing again. I am avoiding deep breaths, cold or hot air, scratchy foods, and singing along with the radio. The latter is the hardest for me.

In school news, the kids really like the folktale unit. I realized yesterday that they like it because we are primarily reading picture books-- which, for the first time this year, means they are probably reading on their level. Though some of my students are good readers, many of them are not. This unit lets them feel like they know what is going on.

The subject of karaoke has been broached for Thursday. I said yes, with no hesitation, as is my way. However, my voice will need to go through some major repair if I am to honor Bonnie Tyler in the way that she is accustomed. Right now I sound like a three pack-a-day smoker with a cold. I keep trying to tell myself that I sound sexy, but I know I sound diseased.

Tonight I am going to go see The Indigo Girls. Very, very exciting. I just love them. I very much hope that this coughing hiatus holds so that I don't hack through their show.
¶ 7:34 AM

I am not teaching today.

Sure, I'm present in the room. I have written the focus question on the board. But I am too tired to actually teach anyone anything. I tried first period, but now it is third and I just don't have it in me.

I have them all in groups and they are supposed to be reading to one another. Some of them are. Some of them are arguing. Some of them are reporting sports scores to one another. One is making markings on his arm that look suspiciously gang-like. I just am too tired to stop it or redirect them.

I know this isn't ideal. I know I should buck up and teach something. I understand that I am wasting precious instructional time. I just can't seem to get it together.

I am even so tired that I don't feel like going to the concert tonight. I will go because I know I would regret not going. But this sickness has plumb worn me out.

Someone just threw something. I have to go.
¶ 1:31 PM
Sunday, March 13, 2005

I wonder how much clenching an abdomen can endure. I also wonder how many gut-wrenching hours of hacking a throat can bear before it gives up completely. I am pondering, also, this morning whether the medicine the doctor gave me is going to conflict with the codeine cough syrup I got from a friend in some kind of terrible way. The sad thing is that I no longer care. If I lose consciousness, that can only be a blessing.

How many nights has it been, now, that I haven't really slept? I can't remember anymore. It is like a coughing switch has been flipped on and I can't make it go off. I have also been lame enough to have people sleeping over the last two nights so they could share my long hours of sleeplessness with me. Luckily guest number one had ear plugs. Guest number two was not so lucky.

The upside? My Abs of Steel. I just know that I will have a six-pack when this jag is over. It is impossible to put them through so much and not be cut like a diamond in the end. At least I can pretend that is going to happen.

Pray for either a cessation of this coughing or loss of consiousness, please.
¶ 9:54 AM