My favorite things said by the kids in my class, today:

"Man, you always be breaking the harmony in our class!"
-Jewel-

"Fool, you bust up the harmony up in here, I'ma bust you."
-Malcolm-

"You let me be Line Leader, Ms. R. I bring em the smack down their mama's ain't never brought 'em."
-Terri (AKA Queen Tillery)

My kids are mad cool, for the most part. They are also a bunch of hooligans. But it just cracks me up the way they have bought into the whole "harmony" concept. True, what they are talking about is earning minutes for a game day, but it just sounds so awesome when they fight for harmony in the classroom. Today I sort of deputized a few of my harder core students and gave them the authority to "bring the smack down" onto the other students. It worked really well. Some of my kids are way scarier than I could ever be.

I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. I want to think about something else for at least one day. Heaven help me.  ¶ 7:29 PM

  Second day of teaching:

I found out today that about half of my kids thought they passed the eighth grade last year and found out only weeks ago that they didn't and they had to repeat it. Well, that explains how pissed off they all are in my class.

Ugh. I just don't know about this system. It is pretty messed up. I don't remember it being this way when I was a kid, and I went to a poor school. Maybe I just didn't know.

But things are good. I actually kind of like what I am doing, although I spend much of my day feeling uncertain and awkward. But I think I will get the hang out it.  ¶ 10:11 PM

  First Day of School

Harmony, my ass.

How quickly the theory falls away and you are left naked and alone at the front of the classroom. It is so easy to say, "I am teaching for Every child...not just the ones that behave. I am really teaching very much to the kid who doesn't seem to want to learn". No. What is left out of that equation is that it takes a lot to stand up in front of a bunch of kids who are rolling their eyes at everything you have to say and exhaling deeply as though they have never had to endure the type of boredom that they endure in your class.

Really, the day went fairly well. I have three periods of what they call "academic" classes. This is just a fancy term for kids who didn't excel in previous levels. North Carolina definately works through tracking, so I have all of the "lower level" students in my classes. They know that they are lower level and they feel like they are stupid and many of the wonder why in the world they would even bother because they have been in "academic" classes all of their lives. They are coming in feeling like there is nowhere to go from where they are.

I spent the day giving inspirational speeches, punctuated frequently by a request for students to please wake up. Many of them slept. I found myself lying about my past, in order to "relate" to them in ways that were ridiculous. I told them that I was a horrible student (I graduated high school with a 4.0). I told them that I am an artist and a musician (um..no.) I told them that I was hired by Nash County because of my expertise in "classroom culture" and "conflict management". I couldn't help it! They were just...staring at me. Just staring and not speaking. They were sleeping and sighing. It was daunting.

But at the end of the day, a student said, "Tenisha- in first period- told me your class was fun. It is, too."

Wow. They appear to be in hell, but I think I did okay. I am so exhausted, though. I cannot believe I have to do this another four times this week. Yikes.

But on the up, I am finally doing what I have been preparing so long to do and it feels good. And I feel pretty good about being here, in my apartment, in this town, in this state. Wish me luck tomorrow.  ¶ 6:17 PM