Today is Gay Pride in Durham and my friend Terri and I are preparing to go. Last night we finally broke our lesbian curse and made it to a gay bar.

Let me explain. Terri and I have been trying to have some sort of gay fun since we met. Ahem. Well, what I mean is, we met in Houston and then went directly to small podunk towns in North Carolina, so it has always been hard to find gay bars or where the ladies are.

In Houston, we did go to pride, but the night ended with us searching fruitlessly and wandering the streets of Houston trying to find a bar to go to and we failed. In the end, the cab driver who took us home was shouting "Faggots!" out the window. (Failure number one).

In Austin, TX, on the Fourth of July we thought we had made it to a hip enough town to find "the gays". So we searched and searched. The first man we encountered and asked told us about a bagel shop where all of the "foreigners" came to dance the night away and a colony of millions of bats that were due to fly into the air at a specific time from under a bridge. But no gays. Then, after much walking and blisters, we found a gay bar where three sad gay men forlornly watched low-budget fireworks explode in the sky from a patio. There were zero ladies. (Failure number two).

In Wilmington N.C., Terri and I thought we had it made. Wilmington is a cute little town with lots of gay people. They seemed to be everywhere and when we saw that several stores had Wonderwoman action figures (I mean, come on!), we knew we had arrived! So we went searching- again. This time, the bar was obvious enough, but when we tried to get in a very snooty gay man told us that we needed to find a gay man to help us get in. In North Carolina, many bars require membership and we were not members. In the end, we abandoned the whole project and went back to the straight oyster bar to pick up my roomate.

But last night, in Chapel Hill during pride of all times, what could go wrong, right? Well, here is the deal. Terri and I industriously got our handy mapquest directions before heading out all spiffy to find the girl bar. We did everything we were supposed to do. So imagine our chagrin, two hours later, as we are driving aimlessly around Durham in the worst neighborhood I have seen in awhile, about to run out of gas. We drove and drove and drove. It was ridiculous. Apparently, in North Carolina, they like to keep the queers in weird, dark, industrial parks with no lighting and messed up street signs. Yikes.

But today will be better! Oh yes! Actually, I think it should. Pride is being held at Duke University, so it should be easy enough to find. And I am thinking there will probably be gay people, too.

Wish us good gay charma.  ¶ 9:39 AM

  Owen often makes appearances in this blog, so we are making it official. He will be our guest speaker/ hurricane specialist for the day.

Owen: Hello. I want to apologize to everyone for starting this hurricane. It was a total and complete accident.

This storm marks my third hurricane experience. I had nothing to do with the inception of the other two hurricanes, but I know the guys that did.

My first hurricane, Gloria, happened when I was like seven years old. School was cancelled, and my father thought it would be a good idea to take us to see our grandparents through driving rain and fatal winds. We were driving on the highway, and passed a billboard that addressed obstetric care or something. There was a giant baby on the billboard, and its head poked out from the top of the billboard. The funy thing was that the top of the baby's head had been torn from the rest of it's body. I shan't forget that image any time soon.

So far, there have been no decapitated babies here, but the winds are pretty bad and there are limbs falling just about everywhere. There were two children playing in the ---

Shit, we just lost power.   ¶ 6:03 PM

  I am trying not to be dramatic and alarmist, but the people here are not helping. Everyone is like, "Oh, during the last hurricane, we didn't have water for over a week and people were knocking each other over the head at the grocery store!" and "You'll probably be okay as long as you don't live on a second floor- those rip off of buildings in this sort of rain and wind."

I live on the second floor, of course.

Probably it won't even be a hurricane, but most of the counties near me have already cancelled schools and things. I have decided to flee to Chapel Hill to hang out with Owen and Charles. At least then, if there really isn't water or cable or electricy, we can play cranium in the dark or something. I just can't think of many things more unbearable than sitting around alone in this apartment.

On a good note, due to this decision, I will have a Friday tomorrow on a Wednesday! Hurricane or no hurricane, I am getting up outta here. And tomorrow I am going to show a movie for absolutely no reason! How is that for lesson planning? It doesn't even really go with the unit I am teaching! Yippee for time fillers!  ¶ 9:46 PM

  No, seriously. I think I have to get out of here before the hurricane hits. My roomate is going to New York on Wednesday and I will be left alone in an apartment with no water or electricity. I don't have bottled water or candles. This is freaking me out.

I don't like hurricanes. I gotta get outta here.  ¶ 8:32 AM

  I hate it. I do. Maybe I am giving in to the panic of feeling like I can't do this. But these kids are killin' me.

They just don't care. They don't care if they pass or fail. They don't care if their parents are proud of them or not. They don't care if they have detention or not. I tell them day after day, if they would mind me and not make me mad at them every five minutes, we could have fun activities. But we can't. Because if I put them in groups or give them scissors, they freak out like lunatics until I am shouting at them to please quiet down and eventually half the class is sitting in corners and the other half has detentions and I have a headache. And then they send me hate mail about how boring my class is.

It is one of the most difficult and heartwrenching experiences I have ever had to have to stand in front of groups of people who hate me all day long. I enjoy being loved. These kids wish me harm. I wish them the best, but can't imagine how the will have it.

I have to go make a hundred evil parent calls where I tell them their kid is a jerk. I do not like this job. I want to do something where people have to at least pretend that they like me.

Oh, and there is going to be a hurricane here on Thursday, apparently. I am supposed to go buy bottled water and candles or some shit. What is that all about?

  ¶ 5:39 PM