First Year Teacher
Friday, October 17, 2003
My life here is becoming quite steady and busy, which I never saw coming. I am now doing sort of social things and having some fun right here in Rocky Mount.
Last night, D's high school kids had a little poetry reading thing at a coffee shop. Man was I jealous of working with those guys. High school is a whole other beast. The kids don't just snort and yell "fart!" constantly. They can actually have a conversation. We sat around and talked about their churchs for a while and it was pretty fun.
After, we went to this wine tasting/dinner thing at the local fancy cheese and wine shop (I wasn't aware that one even existed!). I met one of the other teachers from D's school who was awesome! She made me laugh so hard I cried with her impressions of her students (who are in the 9th grade and very similar to my 8th graders). I am very jealous of her ability to do right on imitations, straight down to a perfect accent and mispronuciations of words. I am thinking of bringing a tape recorder to class so that I can remember forever the sounds of my children being jerks and do hilarious impressions for friends and family forever.
Today I am off again to Chapel Hill. Thank Jesus for my friends! ¶ 9:03 AM
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Last night, D's high school kids had a little poetry reading thing at a coffee shop. Man was I jealous of working with those guys. High school is a whole other beast. The kids don't just snort and yell "fart!" constantly. They can actually have a conversation. We sat around and talked about their churchs for a while and it was pretty fun.
After, we went to this wine tasting/dinner thing at the local fancy cheese and wine shop (I wasn't aware that one even existed!). I met one of the other teachers from D's school who was awesome! She made me laugh so hard I cried with her impressions of her students (who are in the 9th grade and very similar to my 8th graders). I am very jealous of her ability to do right on imitations, straight down to a perfect accent and mispronuciations of words. I am thinking of bringing a tape recorder to class so that I can remember forever the sounds of my children being jerks and do hilarious impressions for friends and family forever.
Today I am off again to Chapel Hill. Thank Jesus for my friends! ¶ 9:03 AM
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Being a teacher is all about constantly reinventing yourself. And I sort of hate when people say things like "reinvent yourself". But it is so true. Every three or so weeks, I turn over a new leaf. I say to myself, "I'm too strict! That is what it is! Of course. What I have to do is loosen up...become the loving, 'I care about you' teacher." I do that and it works for about three weeks. Then, when the children walk all over me, I have the realization that I am too lenient! I have to be more strict!
I don't know what phase I am in now, but I had a great day with the kids. True, in my worst class, 75% of them are suspended (that is absolutely no exaggeration), but still. In my second period class, one kid who HATES me, said "Today was actually fun, Ms. R. I mean it, too."
So now I am reflecting on what I did right today. And in the end, it is all stuff that TFA told me to do that I either forgot or have been too tired/lazy to do. Involve the kids, yada yada yada.
But in the end, today was great. If teaching was like this every day, I would be fine. ¶ 3:59 PM
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I don't know what phase I am in now, but I had a great day with the kids. True, in my worst class, 75% of them are suspended (that is absolutely no exaggeration), but still. In my second period class, one kid who HATES me, said "Today was actually fun, Ms. R. I mean it, too."
So now I am reflecting on what I did right today. And in the end, it is all stuff that TFA told me to do that I either forgot or have been too tired/lazy to do. Involve the kids, yada yada yada.
But in the end, today was great. If teaching was like this every day, I would be fine. ¶ 3:59 PM
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Weekend, oh, weekend. Where art thou, weekend?
That is the only Shakespeare I'll be reading this year. My day was pretty easy, no one threw anything. But somehow I am still depressed. I just feel so...bored. I feel like I am taking care of other people all of the time. I never liked doing that.
I gave out progress reports and they were awful. And then I realized that they are awful because I made a mistake. So there are 20 some odd kids getting "tore up" at home from their parents because of me and they didn't even really deserve it. Ugh. They get to hate me for reals now.
I'll be fine. This is a pattern. Wednesdays suck, but tomorrow I will feel close to Friday and Friday is always just fine no matter what (knock knock).
The Bachelor is on tonight. Lordy, Lordy. ¶ 3:53 PM
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That is the only Shakespeare I'll be reading this year. My day was pretty easy, no one threw anything. But somehow I am still depressed. I just feel so...bored. I feel like I am taking care of other people all of the time. I never liked doing that.
I gave out progress reports and they were awful. And then I realized that they are awful because I made a mistake. So there are 20 some odd kids getting "tore up" at home from their parents because of me and they didn't even really deserve it. Ugh. They get to hate me for reals now.
I'll be fine. This is a pattern. Wednesdays suck, but tomorrow I will feel close to Friday and Friday is always just fine no matter what (knock knock).
The Bachelor is on tonight. Lordy, Lordy. ¶ 3:53 PM
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
I am very excited because the State Fair is coming up! And maybe Owen and Charles and Terri and I will go!
I salivate at the prospect of popcorn, weird carnies, rickety rides, and slutty teens strolling down mud paths. Oh, I love stuff like that! If nothing else, I am going to spend some time with friends this weekend-- something that keeps me living.
Having no car is stressing me out. I don't know how to go about getting a car with no car and I find myself falling into a bit of apathy due to the overwhelmingness of it. I know there is a solution but I am in the "sit on the couch watching 'Baby Story' on TLC eating cookies feeling sorry for myself" stage. This will pass and I will become proactive, I just know it.
Seems like the world wants me to become a librarian. No one wants me to be a corporate mover and shaker. I'm hearing that. But communications sounds interesting, too. I don't know what to do. Ugh. I think I should be in school, but I also should know pretty clearly why I am there. Why don't I love anything so much that it is obvious? Why haven't I been draming my whole life of being a veternarian or something? I'm so lost.
Anywho, who isn't? Aren't most people? Generation X'ers, anyway...God bless apathy and feeling like nothing is going to work out anyway. I need to take a lover. That will solve everything.
¶ 5:21 PM
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I salivate at the prospect of popcorn, weird carnies, rickety rides, and slutty teens strolling down mud paths. Oh, I love stuff like that! If nothing else, I am going to spend some time with friends this weekend-- something that keeps me living.
Having no car is stressing me out. I don't know how to go about getting a car with no car and I find myself falling into a bit of apathy due to the overwhelmingness of it. I know there is a solution but I am in the "sit on the couch watching 'Baby Story' on TLC eating cookies feeling sorry for myself" stage. This will pass and I will become proactive, I just know it.
Seems like the world wants me to become a librarian. No one wants me to be a corporate mover and shaker. I'm hearing that. But communications sounds interesting, too. I don't know what to do. Ugh. I think I should be in school, but I also should know pretty clearly why I am there. Why don't I love anything so much that it is obvious? Why haven't I been draming my whole life of being a veternarian or something? I'm so lost.
Anywho, who isn't? Aren't most people? Generation X'ers, anyway...God bless apathy and feeling like nothing is going to work out anyway. I need to take a lover. That will solve everything.
¶ 5:21 PM
Sunday, October 12, 2003
So, I definately want to get out of this teaching gig. I just know it is not for me. But I don't know what to do next. I am happy to go to grad school-- which I think is what I need to do. So everyone please comment and tell me what to do with my life. I am interested to know all of you out there who read but don't comment, anyway!
Some of my thoughts have been:
Library Science (my friend Charles does that and there are cute girls in his program, plus, being a librarian at a school is better than being a teacher there...)
MBA program (I always thought I would hate business and still have no idea if I wouldn't, but getting an MBA is all about learning how to be in charge of stuff...)
Basically, I want to make money. I don't want to be blue-collar, lower middle-class, any of that. I don't feel bad saying that-- I've already done the no money thing. I want education. I want money. So help me out. What are some cool programs out there? ¶ 10:02 AM
Some of my thoughts have been:
Library Science (my friend Charles does that and there are cute girls in his program, plus, being a librarian at a school is better than being a teacher there...)
MBA program (I always thought I would hate business and still have no idea if I wouldn't, but getting an MBA is all about learning how to be in charge of stuff...)
Basically, I want to make money. I don't want to be blue-collar, lower middle-class, any of that. I don't feel bad saying that-- I've already done the no money thing. I want education. I want money. So help me out. What are some cool programs out there? ¶ 10:02 AM
