Making a new friend can be produce anxiety.

Have you ever experienced that? When I hang out with someone new for the first time (like, without other people), I feel all nervous and stomach-achy. So silly. Does it happen to you?

I always have this fear of awkward silences. It makes me wonder how I ever make friends at all. And I am not a shy girl. And I am not even talking about a dating-type situation. Just kinda hanging out and making friends.

Anyway. The kids sucked today.

The end.  ¶ 5:37 PM

  What I wouldn't give to be a perfect teacher.

It is so hard to stay on top of everything. I spent all day with this overwhelming feeling that I was forgetting a lot of things. And I was. But I do every day. It is impossible to remember all of the little details that seem so trivial at the moment but then blow up later at you. Like a kid saying, "Look, Ms. R! See my journal? Mark it down! I did it!" and me saying, "Wha? Oh, right. Alright. Wait! What?" And then later the progress report comes out and I didn't mark it down and he has a C and he is crying saying, "Remember when I showed you that journal? Remember? You said okay!"

Progress reports came out today and I had eight or nine of these "Remember I turned that in?" stories. No, I don't remember. Yes, sometimes I say okay just to get you out of my face. No, I don't really care that your parents are going to be angry. Yes, I do think that even if I forgot that one assignment you really don't deserve a B. Please kindly shut up and take your C.

But I do know that I make errors at grading. Maybe a lot of them. It is so hard to keep up with 90 students with 15 or more assignments each! I keep thinking that a palm pilot would save me, but I know I can't spend money on something like that.

I bought a punching bag which, while doing very little for the decor of my apartment, is helping me very much with anger management.

I am going to go punch right now.
  ¶ 4:17 PM

  I'm so tired.

In other news, a few things.

Karaoke this Thursday...yes, tomorrow. Be there or be sad.

A button just fell off my shirt so I will now be spending the day dodging the stares of fourteen-year-old boys staring at my cleavage.

Progress reports are due tomorrow and I just learned how to use the grading program yesterday.

I am considering starting to date online because I think it would be fun to write about on the blog. That isn't the only reason, of course. But I do think I could get a good story or two out of it.

As I was leaving my school today three teachers were standing right next to my car looking intently up into the sky. "Definately a tornado." One said. "Yep. Definately." Confirmed another. "Will I be safe to drive home?" I inquired, worriedly. "Aw, sure, Honey." The last told me. I didn't believe her. But she was right.

I'm tired.
  ¶ 10:45 AM