I am having one of those weekends that makes me realize how separate "real life" is from my "teaching life". That is to say that I am having a weekend of complete debauchery. I know that on Monday I will be in front of my students at some point saying something like, "Your education is your ticket to freedom!" and then I will remember myself only days before drunk and stumbling through my apartment fumbling for the light-switch. And I will be tickled.
  ¶ 10:10 PM

  I just got another poster to put up in my room.

Is this common? Do all districts mandate eight hundred posters to be hung from teacher’s walls? This most recent one is a very nice poster that says we will get 90% of our students to pass the state test by next year. It is very nice. It is very unrealistic and I have to wonder why we spent all this money to print a lie on really good paper, but it is a pretty sign. Last month we got these HUGE posters that tell what kids are supposed to know by the end of year. Also very unrealistic, and nice, and did I mention HUGE? I had to take down some of my word wall to put it up. We are also required to have posters with the school rules, the team rules, announcements, editing marks, etc. Every surface of my room is covered.

It seems like my district thinks that if the kids stare at something long enough, they will learn it and do it. I have to wonder if money wouldn’t be better spent on something other than signs that just seem like wishes. 90% of our kids passing the test by next year? Really? How, by looking at signs?

These online classes, coupled with my insistence on a social life, are really kicking my bootie. I have cable that I am too busy to watch, a gym membership I am too tired to use, and a comfy couch that I no longer get to lay on and blissfully eat sunflower seeds. I want these classes over. Going out last night seemed like a great idea. I had fun and hung out with good people and ate delicious fries and drank delicious beers and listened to cheesy songs from a jukebox. But this morning my coat smells like cigarettes, my eyes are puffy, and I would sell some serious blood in order to go back to bed.

I wish only that the children would be quiet today.
  ¶ 8:03 AM

  I got horrible news about one of my students today. She has been gone from class for a few days. Then the guidance counselor came and confiscated all of the daily newspapers. Later, when I looked at them, I realized why. My student was in the paper. Let's just say it had something to do with a stepfather, child-protective services, and a suicide attempt. Sadly, I am sure you can connect the dots.

This is the girl I had written about who I sort of thought had a crush on me. She was always hanging around me. She came really early to school every morning, but another teacher yelled at her for doing that (it is technically against the rules to be at school before a certain time) and she stopped coming. When I was thinking about her today, I suddenly wondered if she had been coming so early to get away from him. When I thought of her being told she couldn't come to my room anymore, I just sort of wanted to throw up.

There was a picture of the stepdad in the paper. When I found out what had happened, I just sat in my room (during my planning) and stared at it. I thought about how if he happened to walk through my door at that moment, I really think I could just kill him. I know it isn't helpful to wonder, "How could he?" but that is all I can wonder.

Now I am supposed to be writing two papers for my stupid online classes and I just feel incapable of it. I'm so tired of feeling so helpless in the face of my students problems. No wonder they aren't paying attention to what the antecedent of a pronoun is. Jesus.
  ¶ 7:22 PM

  How do obnoxious people have absolutely no idea that they are obnoxiou? Why do they get let off the hook in such a way? Why must we all endure them in silence? Couldn't one of us sit them down and say, "Look. I'm sure you want to be liked. I'm sure you don't understand how obnoxious you are. Let me tell you the ways in which you irritate the hell out of everyone." It would be a public service, no? And good for them, too?

There is a teacher here who has what a friend of mine describes as talkamonia syndrome. It is this syndrome makes a person believe that everyone would be happy just to sit an listen to them talk, whether or not they have anything on topic or of interest to say. These people cannot let a comment go by without responding to it, even if what they are going to say has just been said by someone else. This person turns "quick" gatherings into marathons and makes your heart sink when they walk through a door of one of your meetings. These people have a tendency to miss every other meeting and so then must be brought to speed when they do appear and they insist on asking a million questions about things that people who were responsible enough to show up have already covered.

One such gentleman who suffers from this works at my school. Today the conversation in the meeting went something like this:

Me: We are here to talk about the Career Fair and divide up the tasks.
Him: Yeah, well, before we get to that, what are we going to do about L’s suspension?
Me: We came to a conclusion about that last time. I’ll be happy to catch you up later, but right now we need to—
Him: Yeah, because I’m not going to tolerate that kind of behavior from him. Once, when I told him to—
Me: Please, if we can just get to—
Him: --go back to class and do you know what he did? He—

I wished him slight harm by the end of the fourty minute meeting that was scheduled to last ten. He needs an intervention.
  ¶ 4:38 PM

  I am taking a couple of online classes. Not only am I taking classes while teaching full-time and working part-time, I am taking accelerated classes...which means they only last three weeks, but I have papers due almost every day. Since I am taking two classes, I have two papers due almost every day. I am putting myself through hell.

I am always amazed by how little an instructor will accept and call it good. I have been writing my papers in a matter of a half an hour or maybe an hour, if I am lucky. I'm not getting A's. Oh, no. But I am getting B's and I will definately pass these classes with just spewing bull. I am a little mad at one of my classes though. It is full of over-achievers who are clearly doing the reading. They just make it harder in the rest of us who are just reading the posted responses and then paraphrasing them for the instructor. Bastards.

I also find that online classes may not be the best thing for me. You see, I tend to have a beer or two or a glass of wine or three in the evenings...which means that I have been doing a lot of my school work kind of drunk. C'est la vie, no?

Tomorrow is a 2-hour delay. Why? There isn't a bit of ice on the road that I can see. What is up with North Carolina? Not that I am going to complain too much. With delays we don't have to make up the time on a Saturday or the summer. So bring it on.
  ¶ 8:56 PM