Sunday, November 23, 2003
The Teach for America party was fun. It was good to see some people that I have missed.
And from my very unofficial poll, I feel much less alone in my circumstances. At the party I heard of all these people who are probably going to quit at the end of the semester. While I feel bad about that-- not just for the kids and the schools, but also for the teachers because I know what a heart-wrenching decision that is to make-- it makes me feel a lot less alone.
My friend Dale and I were talking and figured out that most of us are fairly miserable...but those of us not quitting have just sort of resigned to it and are used to it. I definately think that is true for me right now. When I really sit down and think about it, there isn't anything here in Rocky Mount that I actually enjoy. I love my students, but if I could think of an easy way out of this, I would probably take it. I love them, but I don't yearn to spend tons more time with them.
The parts of this experience that I am happiest about don't have anything at all to do with teaching. I could have just moved out to Chapel Hill and waited tables or something. But now, I have created a web of debt here that entangles me and I have to keep my salary. That is a huge part of why I don't just move to Chapel Hill or something.
But it is gorgeous here, today. I mean, one of those kinds of perfect weather days you just live for. I can't believe it is like this in November...I pictured it much colder. The weather here has been pretty good the whole time I've lived here...aside from the hurricane and near tornado, that is.
And my weekend was lovely...Owen and Charles whipping my behind in Monopoly (apparently I would never make it as a real estate tycoon), delicious indian food, making fun of people in the sunshine over cold eggs and potatos....perfect. ¶ 10:58 AM