Friday, May 07, 2004
Oh, something is wrong with my hormones or something...not to use such an easy excuse.
But this morning I am very much on the verge of a full-blown preschool-like tantrum and I can't think of a major reason. I did spend the last half an hour with an administrator as she spoke to me like I was borderline retarded, but I am used to that. But just moments ago, the computer took more than a split second to load and I banged my fist against the desk in the school library and felt like my head would explode if I didn't scream. I didn't and it didn't, but just to be safe I have sequestered myself in the under-used computer lab.
And last night, while watching the final episode of "Friends", I saw the commercial for the final episode of "Frasier" and I started to sob as if my heart was breaking. I seriously had a moment of feeling like some very close friends were leaving me and I felt completely abandoned and empty. Then I quickly remembered that I haven't watched either of those shows regularly in years, if ever, and with much embarrassment, put myself to bed after gulping unrecommended amounts of Tylenol PM. This is almost a week now of taking my over the counter lithium every night.
Call it stress. Call it life change. It is driving me nuts. Other teachers-- are you all having nervous breakdowns, too? It would be comforting to me to find out that the way I feel is typical teacher feelings. This first year teacher is coming apart at the seams. ¶ 5:46 AM